Laffy Taffy

I have decided what my dream job would be. I would love to write jokes for Laffy Taffy. I really think I would be good at it too. I don’t think this because I consider myself good at coming up with jokes. I think this because apparently no one good at coming up with jokes works for Laffy Taffy. Someone brought a bunch of Laffy Taffy to work today and we’ve been laughing alright but only at how horrible these jokes are. Here’s a small sample of jokes that have been appearing on my wrappers:

Why did the witch fly her broom? Because her vacuum was too heavy.

When is homework not homework? When it is turned in.

And my all time favorite: What is yellow and has a mask? A Lone Lemon.

Huh?

The Break Room Lady Who Isn't Vindictive

I met a very irritating woman a few minutes ago. I went into the break room to heat up my lunch. Someone else was just getting their food out of the microwave. I looked around the room for a couple seconds to see if anyone was waiting for the microwave but everyone is just sitting at tables so I put my food in. I put the timer on 1 minute. I stand back and after about 15 seconds, some woman probably about my age sitting at a table says “You’re lucky I’m not a vindictive person or else I would stab you with my fork.” I glance over at her and notice she is looking at me and I am completely confused about what is going on until she adds “I was in front of you waiting for the microwave.”

My food was getting close to done now but to be polite, I ask her if she would like to put her food in. Then she gives me a sarcastic “No no.” I argue that she would have been less vindictive if she just went ahead and stabbed me with her fork instead of sitting there glaring at me for the next 30 seconds until my food was done. So anyways, I have probably made a permanent break room enemy but at least she’s not vindictive.

I have recently spent my lunches perusing some of the most hilarious online reading material since Chuck Norris Facts. All two people that read this blog need to go check out www.the-editing-room.com. It has all of these movie scripts that sarcastically trash everything that comes out and makes you see movies in a whole new light. You gotta see it for yourself to know what I mean!