Friday, April 17, 2009

It's a conspiracy!




I’ve been obsessed with this movie for a couple days now. It all started a few years ago when I saw in the news that the actor playing Andre the Giant in his biopic, Matthew McGrory, died during filming. So this project seemed pretty much cursed from the beginning but I wanted to see it because I’ve read about Andre the Giant’s life and it is pretty fascinating and would make an interesting movie. Then I heard they cast a new lead actor who is like 7 foot 7 named Daniel Gilchrist and resumed production. I just recalled the other day that this movie ought to be finished by now so I checked IMDB and, sure enough, it came out last October.
But here’s where the mystery begins- it seems no one that has seen it has lived to tell of it. I’ve googled it extensively and there are no reviews and not even a single legitimate claim that anyone has watched it. There is more mystery surrounding this thing then Roswell. Netflix has the movie in their database but it can’t be rented. The trailer for the movie can be found all over the place, including YouTube, yet no one is actually able to verify the full film’s existence. This is a full-fledged conspiracy! I have a few theories of what the explanation could be:

1- The movie is so horrendously bad that all viewers died of disgust in the theatres and the government had to step in and plan a huge cover-up operation to protect those related to the movie and their families from a bloodthirsty public.

2- Everyone who had seen the movie was secretly killed by hit men hired by the movie’s producer in order to keep them from spreading the word of this horrendous movie and ruining his reputation.

3- The movie was so horrendously bad that all theatres refused to offend their patrons by showing it.

4- It’s an enormous hoax that managed to fool film websites all over the internet.


I just don’t know, but someday I vow to uncover the truth behind Andre: Heart of the Giant!

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